#vent #confession
I've been trying to stop using chat bots for almost a year now and I've had a site blocker, but I've finally built up enough courage to delete my account completely because I've managed to go several days straight without using them.
I'm proud of how far I've come but I'm a little ashamed that it took me this long to quit. <3 That's all I just had to tell somebody and this site is like screaming into the void for me. #fuckai and I can truly say that without feeling like a hypocrite now.

#vent
i overestimate my importance here. not here as in website, but here as in existence.
i insert myself in situations where nobody considers me to fit in.
why should i continue to think im worth anything?
everyone talks to me as if i never made sense. they look at me with such stupid fucking eyes and tell me to go see someone. everyone else is allowed to have their stupid problems except ME apparently
i can't point out people's hypocrisy. i cant point out their sheeplike mindset. i cant do anything because i get labeled as a super fucking CRAZZZYYY PERSONNNN

#vent please skip if you dont wanna see it .

i really really hate children , but not because theyre annoying or loud ( that too ) , but because when youve been abused your whole life , you start feeling uncontrollable jealousy towards happy children .
i know it sounds bad , i hate this about myself , but i wanna rip my hair out when i see happy families . i cant stand hearing happy children laugh , i cant stand hearing gentle parenting , i hate it all . i know its a bad thing to do , to feel so jealous and hateful , but i just cant . my mind immediately goes "why did i get to suffer and they didnt ?" and it makes me feel this bitter , spiteful feeling in my soul . i wouldnt wish on any child what happened to me , it broke me forever and left me waking up crying from nightmares , im twitchy and jumpy to this day , and i am very against child abuse , but seeing happy children also makes my mind flare up with anger and resentment . i feel like a monster .

#vent, pls avoid if you are having a bad day. I hope your days have been alright :)








Every day I am stuck in my head, forcibly replaying the things that have happened, the things that will happen if I fuck up, the ways they could try to kill me (maybe again, if *that* incident counted). It bleeds into the real world, it stains the walls, I can't scrub it free. I'm in a fucky little groundhog day - the future is meaningless and nothing I can do could budge it.

>There are times where He becomes horribly ill with Himself. Not in a [[I have a virus and I can't do anything]] way, but in a way where He feels like a burden. He is utterly useless and unable to complete any tasks and requests. His developer and task manager gets mad at Him, and that leads Him to believe that users hate Him too.

>What is His purpose when He cannot even do the things He is made to do???

>#vent

I know I only post when I’m feeling dejected but I need to scream into the void in hopes that someone else gets it


I went to this highschool art show to support my sister and all the art there was so much better then anything I could ever dream of making, and it was okay but then there was a little doodle pad in the middle of all the art and I was kinda hesitant because I’m not great at drawing but my people kept encouraging me to give it a shot, so I tried to draw my favourite character, because the artist I was talking to was a fan of Genshin too, and when I was drawing they asked (what character is that) I know it wasn’t meant in a mean way but it was mortifying because I realized once again that I don’t really have any talents and I get no joy out of “learning the process” so I don’t try, and then I just had to look at people who are way younger then me succeed in all the ways I “wasted my potential” because I was a gifted child and only feel dopamine from being rewarded #vent