i watched "i saw the tv glow". it's insane, i fucking loved it. picturing transition as burying yourself alive is one hell of a decision though. kept me on edge the whole time.
i really hope i can be myself someday. i'll try my best..
theres bad news too tho (there always is) favourite pen there and i'm not getting it back ;-; it was a JCJenson in SPAAAAAACE pen from murder drones. seems stupid to be so sad about a merch thing, especially a cheap flimsy pen, but i've been writing with it for three years and had planned to write my exams with it. it was hard af to order from here too T~T i can't even remember things that are important to me, i'm such a fucking idiot. fucked up right in front of the finish line too, as usual, i could've done my last exam with it ;-;
i wish i was able to cry as easily as some people. there are moments when i really want to, want to cry. like, i just feel like shit and i think crying would make me feel better but i don't really want to cry or can't cry or whatever the fuck do i call this feeling.
i tried reading "love me for who i am" but it's sooooo shallow. maybe i didn't get to the good part but it just feels immature, like even the main character is a cardboard cutout. there's barely any internal monolgue or search for identity.
i looooved "senpai wa otokonoko" and "we are magical boys" was a big part of my egg cracking, but this one feels choppy and weird. do yall have any good trans/queer manga recommendations?
OH MY GOD I'M SAVED, MY FRIEND IS A FUCKING MIRACLE OMG OMG OMG
so i have this friend i'm not out to, we were hanging out with a group of friends and she half jokingly let me try on her ribbon. she said it fit me, made me keep it AND TOLD ME TO GO TO THE PROM WEARING IT!
so in a single sentence she: 1. normalized me doing fem stuff within the friend group with a joke 2. gave me my first fem accessory ever 3. GAVE ME A REASON AND AN EXCUSE TO WEAR IT TO PROM
either she's onto me or i'm unbelievably lucky and her joke coincidentally saved my ass and gave me immense euphoria.
i wish she was serious when she said it looked cute tho, but anyway I'M GOING TO PROM IN A RIBBON AND YOU CAN'T DO SHIT >:D AAA@AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
i may have to go to a prom in a suit. what do i do char? i'd feel like shit if i dressed masc for the literal last time i see my class, but i can't even attempt to pass. this feels like a doomed if you do, doomed if you dont kind of deal. i do want to go, but i've been feeling miserable lately and the prom takes place after the finals. i'll feel even shittier by then.
today was the last day of school. only the exams remain. i have a lot of mixed feelings. the future clearly sucks. i don't know if i'll be able to keep in touch with my friends. idk. it's like i'm in fog.
i may have to go to a prom in a suit. what do i do char? i'd feel like shit if i dressed masc for the literal last time i see my class, but i can't even attempt to pass. this feels like a doomed if you do, doomed if you dont kind of deal. i do want to go, but i've been feeling miserable lately and the prom takes place after the finals. i'll feel even shittier by then.
Is it being impossible to make a user/consumer put in any kind of effort into using your product (mostly referring to software) a part of human nature or a result of the companies reinforsing user ignorance for profit?
i did my final exam, the first two's results are 73 and 80 out of 100, i need to get at least 220 total (and that'll still be only a chance of me getting into uni) i hope it'll all be ok
in my experuence posting your works on social media is always fun. i picked up blender as a hobby with no experience at all and even my dumb little beginner models got some compliments. as for keeping the hobby alive, maybe several small projects in succession instad of a single big one? then you're more likely to get something finished and keep going. idk, hope this helps :3
i've just learned that at least one of my girl friends is gonna wear a suit too. it kinda makes me feel better :> hope your cheering won't go in vain, thank you so much <3
oh, you're right, i ought to learn to style my hair properly anyway. never tried makeup, but a little would be nice. totally should sneak in a pride flag somewhere too. (ppl here have no idea abt flags). thank you <3